Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Cranky debates

Feeling funny... hungry, sleepy, tired... yet not tt hungry, not tt sleepy, not tt tired... yet dun wana eat in the middle of the nite... yet feel like playing the sims on xbox, yet feel like lying in bed n drift off to dream land... Its the cranky time of d nite, i admit, but i shall allow the crankiness flow into words...

Cranky question 1) What is love? issit to loved or being loved? issit better to be loved or being loved? how to measure love if it can measured? y does love make us do certain things sometimes...
Cranky answer 1) was watching the 9pm show on channel 8. there was something abt a person having 3 souls, 7 spirits, something like tt... thn after tt, was watching a tvb show on scv... its about the folklore of cowherd n weaver maid, of cos with loads of "additional" sub-plots... there came a part whn the baddie knocked cowherd unconcious. then he "pulled" out cowherd's 7 spirits n "killed" off his supposed love spirit. n it was explained that the love spirit controls the heart, letting u forgive n have feelings for pple...so, loving someone isnt a feeling, but control by a "spirit" in u? bleh...

Cranky question 2) heard that cancer is due to unforgiveness... heard that God is a healer n the satan is "responsible" for all illness... so what is tis battle abt? me n cancer? Him n satan? Bad cells n radiotherapy?
Cranky answer 2) how abt tis... He is healing me thru radiotherapy, keeping me away from satan who wana take my life... But i tot i would be with him after i die? then how come i am sick? hmm... so satan is sending me home to Him earlier? bleh...

Cranky question 3) Kylie minogue is having breast cancer n reports said that the cancer is confined to the breast. thn y r there reports of her needing to go for chemotherapy...
Cranky answer 3) from my case, i understand tt chemo is only needed if the cancer has spread, thus mine aso confined n localised, thus only needing radio... since she is a pop star n worth 60mil aussie dollars, might as well go for chemo to get rid of a singular cancer cell that might be other parts of her body... bleh...

enough of debates... feeling sleepy now... will try to zzz now...

Saturday, May 21, 2005

About the movie... U know which one...

Honestly about the movie... i liked the fact that
- the cheesy wipes, opening n ending sequence has not changed, 30 years down the road... It would not b a series if not for the similarities in these...
- Yoda (TM) is very wise but he speaks broken english! it just goes to prove that you dun hv to be eloquent to be wise. but failed, he has... even though a green lightsabre (TM) he has...
- the effects looked good, if not slightly better then those 30 years ago. but note, its slightly better... so how they did it 30 years ago for something that happened 20 years later when the twins grew up, was amazing!
- to just get pregnant, cry n die you can receive quite a high billing in d credits...
- there is finally a pause to everything... of cos the figurines, dvds, vcds, etc will be kept in production. but there will not be pple walking around in the streets dressed up as the charaters, holding lit up plastic rods going to a movie...
- its only 6 movies, but money rolls in non stop because 20 years down the road, pple will still wana watch what happens in a galaxy far away bcos of a few reasons... thy heard it from their dads... thy have watched it somehow on tv repeatedly... when their dads is watching it for the tens-or-hundreds-th time, they r watching it too...
- the game is already out b4 the movie hits the screens... ironic...

(In extreme fine print)
Disclaimers: pls read entry b4 this...

May The Force Be With You (TM)

Never was a great fan of Star Wars (TM)... Only watched a bit here n there whenever those episodes with Han Solo (TM) was shown on tv... And how do i know the story of the battle in the galaxies far away? by reading... yes... everytime there's a new Star Wars (TM) movie, there would b write ups abt the whole full development of the script...

now whn the "missing" epi is finally shown, stats are compiled... stats of which character appeared in which epi, wht kinda "planes" n driods (TM) appeared in which epi, n of cos, last but not least, the family tree...

n of cos, i did the most noble thing a gf can do... tt's to accompany my dearest Yoda (TM) to catch the movie on the opening day... He really liked it, n for me, it would always b a guys' thing... n of cos, turning to the Dark Side (TM) thinking it could save your wife's life? noble, yes, but dark is always dark. so, learn to be clever n know what's good n bad, you must...

Things to propose...
- cinemas with liftable arm rests sell 2 seats for the price of 1
- show epi 1 to 6 in a row with breaks in between long enough for a power nap
- with free flow of drinks and snacks avaliable at a bar set up at the back of the cinema
or...
- chalets or hotel 81 (TM) chains offer a 3 days 2 nights package
- show epi 1 to 6 in a row on their in house video channel, with breaks in between long enough to cover the whole package or show epi 1 to 6 in a row over n over again repeatedly to cover the whole package on their in house video channel so that customers can choose when to tune in, when to take a break, when to sleep
- with free flow of drinks and snacks avaliable for room service

(In extreme fine print...)
Disclaimers...
Pls note all (TM) above except hotel 81 (TM) is trademark of LucasFilm (not too sure of the company name).
Pls note hotel 81 (TM) is trademark of hotel 81 (not too sure of the company name too).
Pls note that the idea of watching epi 1 to 6 in a row is to be done at your own risk. Pacey Tots will not be liable for any damages just for suggesting a stupid idea for fans n fanatics. Should anything happen to you, pls erase any memory of reading this here. I repeat, its just a stupid idea for fans n fanatics.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Maybe... Just maybes...

Awoken... with a heavy n slightly giddy head... Neck hurts... Cant get back to sleep... Weather is killing-ly hot... the nerve on my neck which hurts feels a little more protruding then ystday...

mayb its just today, feeling tired d whole day so nose a little runny cos i keep yawning... plus i can always feel a little phlegm there, somewhere there, in my throat... mayb d grapes, pears n mangoes r too sweet, mayb d mucus frm d nose-on-treadmill flowed back towards my throat thus the phlegm...

well, tts the good side of it.. bad side? d tumor is growing... mayb tt explains y i've been eating every 2 to 3 hours almost the whole of last 2 weeks cos the tumor is absorbing the nutrients for its own growth... mayb tt explains the "added" growth of 1 lymph node n my protruding nerve...

damn...2 week more! just 2 weeks more to my 1st radiotherapy session... i really pray, hope n wish nothing happens... I dun wana go thru painful injections n all those tests again to determine if there is spreading or if d tumor is growing!!!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Almost boredom...

As i slowly count the days to my first radiotherapy session, its getting kinda boring... I'm kinda "reserving" the vcds to watch once i start treatment, so i free... so much time to be spent, although i know i have some things to settle, some things to do, but, just plain lazy...

lazy to step out of the house in this blardi freaking hot weather... and the crowds, freak me out too. i just get lazy, bored, tired when i see the crowds. all the shopping mood would just vanish in a puff... its just damn freaking hard to shop on weekends! u cant have the pleasure of looking at things in peace, without someone else looking at u, wondering when u can move aside so that he/she can take a look too...

stay at home? cable shows are repeated as if they are on a 8-hour shift... so not much to watch also... already completed my hello kitty xbox game, but to unlock more costumes, weapons, character profiles, music n anime pieces, i have to play the game again to unlock them... other games? well, if i complete everything, what else can i do while going for treatment?

Sigh, i'm getting bored to death... But i kinda like this relaxing life, eat sleep play... Life's good... although, i can use some entertainment too...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Bz week...

Hate to say this but Diaryland kinda sucks sometimes... out of 10 times i wana make an entry, 6 times it says server bz... Rembember once I said i wanted to move this blog to someplace better? really thinking hard now... esp the moving of every single piece of the last entries which would be damn difficult... in the 1st place, i dunno how to start shifting... Start the new entries there first, and then slowly n steadily copy n paste the past entries, or just create a link... But for diaryland, u would have to log in once in dunno how many months, if not, your account is deemed unactive and ALL entries will b deleted... damn... Enough of ranting... had a bz last week...

About paying respects to Dr. Wee... Well, did not make it... When i reached orchard to mit dear dear after his paper, the queue was already at plaza sing, and there are still pple joining the queue... besides that, there was loads of kids in sch uniforms. so i guess part of the reason the queue was soooo long and not moving was due to the "extra" thousands of sch kids sent by their schs to pay respects... since it was close to dinner time, we were feeling kinda hungry, so we tot, mayb we should go grab a bite 1st and join the queue later whn there are lesser pple... But NO!!! after dinner, we wnt to check out the queue, it was the same lenght, wif pple still joining the queue, and MORE sch kids waiting around... so, we decided to give it a go...

Lymph nodes on my right neck was hurting the last week... n it was whn i had my mask done. it was torturing!!! As the mask is a piece of plastic like material, it had to be soften in hot water. there it was, softened n thn placed on my face. HOT HOT!!! then they pressed, kneaded, moulded the thing according to my face shape... when thy moulded at my neck, OUCH OUCH!!! damn!!! then, i had to wear the hardened mask to do an x-ray kinda thing... that was only half way... next, a CT scan wif the mask on!!! i laid on the platform, they place the tube into my hand, wore my mask on me, injected the iodine, scanned me...
guess i did not mentioned that on those 3 times, whenever the mask's on me, i was lying down n had to lift my chin up... for around half n hour... imagine the blood rush after that whn i sat up... it was damn freaking intense that i cant start walking straight away... the whole thing left me gidy, groggy, blur n cant think straight for the rest of the day...
good news was my radiotherapy's date was given straight away, will start 2nd Jun. Bad news is that, its almost a month later and i'm scared i might not have the energy n mood to celebrate my bday...

Got my limited-edition, less-then-3000-pieces-in-d-world, collectors-item, Hello Kitty Xbox!!! Woohoooo!!! Dear dear managed to find a shop that was selling it. heard that it was most prob a parallel imported piece... Cos in Singapore, you actually had to buy a LCD tv from Samsung wif at least a $2000 value b4 u can get the xbox free...

The gals came to visit me. bought me essence of chicken, a bouquet n chocolates! mum say the essence can only drink after treatment... the bouquet wilted n i'm keeping the flowers as dried flowers. as for the chocolates, they r considered "limited, exotic, almost banned" stuffs for me... but i sneak a few here a there.. heehee...

got a $250 singtel mobile phone voucher after we upgrading our broadband at home... since one of our home mobile lines was eligible to change a handset, dear n i went out to look for handphones cos his broke down... he got a $0 sony ericsson k300 phone from M1 which was quick n ez... but mine was a trouble... all singtel hello shops pulled out my nokia7610, the phone which i have targetted for sooooooo long!!! bad news kicked in, not all retailers outside r allowed to accept the voucher... so we made a trip down to suntec city... went into the 1st shop, the lady said she cant accept the voucher n said the rest of the singtel retailers in suntec can accept... was sad n disappointed till we found a 2nd shop. walked in n thy said thy can accept the voucher. yipee!!! but since the hello shops pulled out the model, the shop had to do additional paperwork on their side so i could get my nokia 7610. so after deductin the value of d voucher, i only had to pay $188 for the phone and another $50 for the pink cover. so now, i have a new "toy" to play wif, my nokia 7610... heehee...

After the poor sunflower died, dear bought tiger lilies! they are so so beautiful!!! There are 6 in the stalk... 2 were already bloomed whn dear bought them. already witnessed the blooming of 3 of them... the last one is starting to bloom already... while the 1st 2 are starting to wilt a little

Time past kinda fast... hope it would b even faster so i can start my radiotherapy soon...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Good news afterall...

Dr Wee Kim Wee passed away ystday morning. When he was sworn in as president of singapore in 1985, I was still a little gal. This great, friendly, loving, down-to-earth man "accompanied" my childhood years, all the way till 1995, when he retired.
I had only seen him on tv, in papers, magazines, but had never had the chance to see him in person. He had always given me a fatherly figure feeling, and i've never not seen him with a smile. That kinda respect that people have of him, i think not many will be able to gain that much... I'll be going down with Dear to pay respects to him later, which is actually the least I can do...

The nurse from the oncology centre called. I was supposed to have my mask done this friday afternoon, but she called to get me to do it tmr morning instead. Its good news afterall, another day's wait is another's days worry and danger. Although my bone scan, blood test, chest x-ray, abdomen ultrasound is clear and no signs of cancer spread, no one will know what will happen within this "waiting" period. The sooner I start my radiotherapy, the better...

My room is soooooooooooo clean now. Went to ikea ystday to order a sofa bed too. cos my mum thinks its not too good for me to continue sleeping on my tatami on the floor...

better start preparing to go out now...

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Spring clean...

Labour day... Well, pratically labour. Spent the whole afternoon packing/ tidying and wiping up my table n everything thats on it, like my cosmetics box, skincare stuff, books, stationery box, blah blah. Add those stationery i bought for office which i had brought them back as well...
Packed/ tidied and wiped those stuff lying on the floor near my door too.
Set up my "entertainment" corner too. Been wanting to put the speakers back for my hifi for the longest time already. Y? My hifi had been used in the living room to play vcds as well, thus the speakers were left in my room as it was easier to "rca" the audio out to the tv...

Tmr i'll begin on part 2 of "spring cleaning". too lazy to do anything now... hehe...