Pain pain go away, (dun) come again foreva...

woke up to a stabbing pain in my abdominal area. As i comtemplate whether to take the day off, i think abt the stack of papers in the office n tt useful, yet time consuming LPS training later in the morning. When i put my hand to press on the area to give it some pressure so as to not feel the pain, i can actually feel it throb. its more excruciating, more pain-in-the-ass, or rather, abdominal today. totally unbearable. if ystday's was unbearable, today's 10 times worse.

Now i'm wondering, do women who go on the pill have to suffer this kinda ordeal (yes, ordeal) every month? in bio classes during secondary scool, all i can recall n which is all, to my understanding now, is tt there's still bloody discharge, but lesser cos there's no eggs? wht the hack...

decided to take a cab later, too pain to walk, stand up, or even sit up straight. time-check, 6.45, i still have a little time to laze ard too... made myself a warm cuppa milo.

as i slowly make my way to "paint" my face, drink my milo n go to work, if anyone has any miraculous way of overcoming, or rather STOP the monthly pains, pls gimme a buzz. n sorry, no panadol or whtever tt "p" medication tt was supposed to be good but harmful in the long run. mayb i should cut down on my humongous intake of tea in the afternoon n drink "heaty" stuff like milo or hot chocolate. (yah, then the pain will come onto my face.)

helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp...

The Paced Times Online is rite. the monthly pains are the most painful things after childbirth. well, but at least u have anesthesia for childbirth. hmm... anesthesia... would some doc kindly invent something tt would be something like anesthesia n numb tt area so we cant feel the pain.

Pain pain go away, dun come again foreva... (sang to the tune of rain rain go away, come again another day)

Pain pain...

2nd outta-sorts day. although the "impact" was less thn ystday.

reason 1? the "aunt" came this morning. sat in the cold (read: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) air con office enduring the monthly pains. this time round, WITHOUT my comfy hot pack (cold pack but heated up...). was toking in fanciful language to myself silently while tryin to concentrate on my work.

reason 2? no idea. mayb still feeling depressed after watching monster. was crying to sleep ystday. too sad, too heart wrenching. even thinking abt makes me cry n i almost did in the office. haiz... bo pian, who ask me to be a true blue cancerian, very extremly emotional... whn i woke up this morning, there's this kinda sadness tt overwhelmed me. just woke up feeling very sad, feeling very breathless, as if as there's a heavy load on my chest.

reason 3? nah...

time to heat up the pack... pain pain...

Monster...

Totally outta sorts at work today. Staple remover rite in front of me n I din c it. Pen rite in front of me n i searched all over my table for it. was photostating something n needed my pencil, which I actually forgotten tt i took it with me all along, making a wasted trip back to my table to look for it. wrote wrong names on the wrong packs of food even with the list in front of me. even the simple, unforgettable steps of gog thru the SAP system to get a PO moving was so difficult. had to stare, look back n forth at my comp n the paper, check, double check, triple check, quadriple check n then i forgot wht to do next. even my colleagues was wondering wht was wrong with me. i wondered too. did i get out from the wrong side of bed. or was it just monday blues.

caught monster just now. diff pple would have diff POVs of the movie. for me, a straight gal, watching Charlize Theron (Aileen/ Lee) n Christina Ricci (selby) makin out should be kinda gross. it was gross the 1st time whn thy kissed. but during their 2nd time, i was drawn to lee's love for selby. she simply just never expect to fall for selby at first. somehow i think sel is the bitch who had a hand in ruining lee's life. lee loved this gal who picked her up at a bar cos she was bored n was running away from her dad. n sel later kinda did her in. in my pov, she knows lee loved her a lot, n in turn used this love to turn herself into a prosecution witness.

heart wrenching i must say. depressing rather... hearin n seeing lee's story was really heart ache. no one could have imagined gog thru all the kinda shit. raped by her dad's frd at 8, prostituted herself since 13 and had an abortion b4. if it was me n given tt life, i wont live past my abortion. i might as long just die with the baby who i dun even know who the dad was. i really sympatised with her. n trying to provide a good life for sel was all she wanted. as to y she commited the murders, it was kinda half the reason here n there. guess she got tired of being "humiliated" by men. n once she start killing one outta self defence, she couldnt stop cos it was an ez way out. an ez way out to get money n a car to move to another town for another "new" life with sel. I cried, as n i'm typing this, i'm still crying.

in the court scene, she said something which set me thinking. she scolded the jury for putting to death, a rape victim. had her dad heard her pleas n believed her whn she was 8, she wouldnt have been on death row. given the physological n mental "health" she is in, life imprisonment was cruel enuff. no one asked to be raped at 8! n the murders she did, she still had to pay for them. if the jury feels tt she has to be put to death for the murders she commited, how abt those who raped her n mulitated her? how come thy go away scot free? so is law abt who reporting who to the authorities first? i simply have no idea.

The good and the crap

As of tmr, it'll be officially 1 month in ExxonMobil. time really flies n it only seemed like ystday i just started work.

Caught one good and one crap movie. good: 20, 30, 40. screenplay and editing is superb. 3 stories abt 3 women who dun know each other with no direct link with each other and transisting in between them was flawless! u have lee sin jie, an aspiring singer who flew to taiwan. you have liu ruo ying who is a flight attendent on duty on the plane lee sin jie took. when u follow them touching down at the airport, u find zhang ai jia returning from a trip wif her husband and daughter. aside from the opening seq, you can pratically use your hands to count if u wana find any 2 of these 3 women together in a scene. tt was how good the screenplay was. 3 award winning actresses in one movie, u can be guaranteed of superb acting. Besides having them, u have award winning liang jia hui too! cao qi tai aso acted as zhang ai jia's husband. Its not meant to be a comedy, yet there was funny moments complete with great punchlines here and there. Its so good to be able to watch such kinda taiwanese movie. wang jing n zhu yan ping can go to hell for delivering crappy stuff the last era. bring on more of these kinda "ho liao" movies!

crap: an iranian movie: blackboards. about 2 teachers wondering ard to find students. typical iranian film wif a big outline n lots of simple, draggy, sometimes stupid n dun-make-any-sense-at-all subplots. typical iranian film wif lots of loooonnnnnnnnnnng shots, "travelling" wif the character tt might make one feel nauseous. typical iranian film tt made me fell asleep just like i did during my poly film history n film study classes. typical iranian film wif irritatingly lllllllloooooooonnnnggggggg dialogue, if not monologue, maybe its just the language. typical iranian film wif not much mise-en-scene (wow, i still can spell n use this word!) except for the flowers grass trees wood (hua cao shu mu). typical iranian film tt have character B repeating wht character A says (or issit cos of the cannot-make-it translation) tt makes audiences so irrtated tt my Baby feel like slapping the character. TYPICAL BORING iranian film... spare me... can we have more iranian films like children of heaven instead?

I wana watch untold scandal... a korean remake of Les Liaisons Dangerous. reviews not bad...

50 first dates sound interesting. about drew barrymore who has short term memory loss.

i aso wana watch twilight samurai and the company, both showing at theartshouse for their "opening fest"

wana watch so many movies, no time...

What a wonderful feeling...

~~Jie~~: okie i gotta go already... meeting youjin..

long time never go tampines

remember to have ur dinner later okie?

bye bye

paced: okie.. tok later.. have a great time.. buai...

paced: sob sob

~~Jie~~dun cry.. sayang.. *muak*

byebyeee

i feel so loved... What a wonderful feeling! Thanks Baby...

Lousy screenings...

acacia wasn't tt nice after all and the other movie tt was screening was cat in the hat. no wonder there were so little pple ystday at the screenings ystday. but there's something to mention abt acacia though... like almost all horror films, the cinematography n editing are the only salvage points of the film.

tired, sleepy... always happens at the end of the working week... feel like sleeping earlier tonight...

Updates yet again...

Its always easy to guess if u're gonna OT. guess i will tmr. another stack of export permits to clear wif another colleague gog on leave for a day. more will come my way... dun mind the OT, but i do mind not being able to get transport out. so far, its not too bad wif a colleague fetchin us to the nearest mrt. but, i rather "accumulate" the OTs. cos its only after 2 hours straight, i can claim meal n transport. if OT half an hour everyday a bit "bo hua" cos cant claim the meal n transport like tt. haiz...

man u got knocked out of the champs league by porto. i din manage to catch tt match...

both Baby n i have been working. i need to sleep early cos i gotta wake up by 6... Baby wakes up at 7.30. by the time he finishes his OT n reaches home, i'm already preparing to go to bed. On the days without sfs screenings or us meeting, i spend less then an hour with him. n on those days, i miss him soooo much tt i even smile to myself while looking at my phone's wallpaper (a photo of both of us). wht to do, he has to earn more in order to save more for his uni expenses... so i'll have to accomodate to his time. although i miss him so much, i'm really glad for tt minimal less then an hour we spend with each other which is at least betta thn not spending time together at all...

tt despo idiot still has yet to return me my ic n return my library book for me... grrr...

Mt. Ex(port per)mits...

a whole HILL of export permits to be done. doesn't help whn names of the products so similar to the last letter but catergorise under diff HS codes or of diff country origin. i need time to get familiarise. tt's not the only tiring thing. tiring is the calculation, making sure the weights are correct. soon, i think i'l give up lumping all the items with the same hs codes n country of origin n maybe start typing them one by one, 20 products in all if tt's what is shipped in one whole B/L. I really dunno which is more time wasting. calculating or typing. but i know i definately save paper...

it aso doesnt help whn the BIG boss comes down to sg. first, company lunch for almost 2 hours. then meeting for 2 hours. thn waiting ard here n there, the whole aftnn burned. OT till 7.30 but still cant clear even 1/4 of those permits. think i have to OT again tmr... haiz... earning money, good, but the pile doesnt look good on my work effectiveness. but, its damn... argh!!! mayb u guys shld try...

k, back to my emails, newspapers and other stuff...

2 good films...

This is the 2nd+ week at work. not much OT in the past cos not much for me to do as i havent learnt tt part of the job yet... wanted to OT just now, but it was raining very heavily, thus din OT cos(by experience frm those who OT often) hardly any cabs would wana come in even "on call".

caught 2 good movies in the past week. Core screening of In America and a free invite to My Girl (thailand). a good movie will bring u thru the characters' ups n down, tears n joys and these both movies done tt.

however, after watching In America, i dun think Samantha Morton derserved an oscar nominee nod at all for best actress for her just-pass acting. but i think she got the nod cos it was a very very good role to play, with a lot of space to develop and show her acting talents, or her lack of it. she played a mother, inspite of being ill, despraetely wantin to keep her unborn child, cos she has lost one and nvr could forgive herself. her husband too... whn the elder daughter sang desperado, tears just flowed. till now, while recalling, i'm still tryin hard to hold back my tears. it was kinda like a despo call to her parents, after a year plus, to forget the pain n just let go, embracing the new life tt thy have now, w/out their brother. i think the kids who played her daughters in the film betta deserve the oscar nominee nod. anyway, the film reminded me of Angela Ashes, all abt irish families moving to the US for hope of a betta life.

My Girl, funny, sweet, romantic, n sad at the same time. the film reminded us something tt we always forget. always tell the pple ard you how u feel. lert them know your true feelings n how u feel, esp if u like/love/have a crush on them. if u have said, who knows something good might have happened. but if you did not, who knows the next time u'll c her is 20 years later at his/her wedding...

its stilll rainingggg... nice weather to sleep... hopefully i dun oversleep tmr... hopefully it stops raining tmr nite so i can OT... hehe...